I've had a bit of writer's block as of late. When I have had those glorious moments of sheer genius, I'm in the middle of trying to get ready for work and I'm already 15 minutes late, half dressed towel still wrapped around my head yelling at the kids to " Go ahead get in the car, Mommy just has to put her face on and throw on clothes!". As I spin around in circles wondering did I already bring down my shoes?
I have to admit though since I have been committed to this new healthy lifestyle I find that I am more often early to work then late, which is a nice change of pace but there is a downside to this new way of living. This new way of living has been acutely aware to say the least and of time and how little there is left of it or how it's not guaranteed. I have been feeling so much better theses past few weeks, feeling more alive - rejuvenated. Sitting in this blah of a box with one non opening window with no pictures on the wall they call on office staring at a computer screen all day consuming precious oxygen sitting on my ass seems let a waste and in a way like legal excepted suicide! I have this ever deepening desire that I should be doing some much more with my life. Instead I'm a robot...we are robots. We take our children to school and then they go to daycare after school because we need to work, we need to work to pay the daycare. We need a car to go to work, but we need to pay for the car, gas, insurance etc....so we work. We need a home to live in, of course we hardly live in that home because where are we so we can pay for the home to which we need to live...WORK! We are all working to own the things that they are owning us! I know it's a saying that I must have heard somewhere or read online but it's true and it's scary!
My apologies for the ramblings here but I think what I might be feeling may not be a mid-life crisis but a need to do something with this new found wealth of state of well being. Why let it go to waste? Why not put it to some good use? Do something! I only wish it was that easy we live literally paycheck to paycheck, we work all the time and that is not because my family is trying to keep up with the Jones, we are just trying to not drown. What I wouldn't give to pack the kids up to and say "Kids we are going on adventure to save (INSERT CAUSE OF YOUR CHOICE HERE)!". I can't say much for the older ones but man the 3 girls would be all for it! But here in reality I'm terrified that we have no safety net, no retirement, that at any moment what little we have could be completely wiped out or the fact that we are most likely going to be working until one of us drops dead and even if we could wanted to save where and how do we start, because honestly we do save change around here but I don't know how many times we have to pull it together just to buy bead or gas for the car so how the hell are we supposed to save for emergencies or yeah retirement.
Okay so my point to all this crazy talk this morning, for those that are reading this and have done the smart things in life. I admire you, I was not that smart. I have made many many mistake and repeated those mistakes but in just different and unique ways. For those who have yet to have done those mistake...you will make them, get back up and keep going and try not to repeat them. Take care of yourself, your health is so very important and it is yours to control no one else can take it from you or control it. If you have nothing you, you have your health. I know it sounds like a line and when you're young it just kind of rolls off of you and you never really take it seriously but your time on the earth is not a guarantee and don't wait for something to happen, YOU MAKE it happen! In short I suppose what I'm saying is again and again I can't stress this enough so I will repeat, you are not the things that you own, your life is not guaranteed on this planet so before it becomes too difficult to do so choose wisely and make a difference.
There are so many things that I want to do and change in this world and I feel helpless by only the little that I can do that it seems for now my only hope is to do what I can and pass along whatever I can to my children and hope that they choose wisely and pass it on.
One Life, One Love, One World: live one minute every second at time
