Is this what a Mid-Life Crisis looks like???

I've had a bit of writer's block as of late. When I have had those glorious moments of sheer genius, I'm in the middle of trying to get ready for work and I'm already 15 minutes late, half dressed towel still wrapped around my head yelling at the kids to " Go ahead get in the car, Mommy just has to put her face on and throw on clothes!". As I spin around in circles wondering did I already bring down my shoes?

I have to admit though since I have been committed to this new healthy lifestyle I find that I am more often early to work then late, which is a nice change of pace but there is a downside to this new way of living. This new way of living has been acutely aware to say the least and of time and how little there is left of it or how it's not guaranteed. I have been feeling so much better theses past few weeks, feeling more alive - rejuvenated. Sitting in this blah of a box with one non opening window with no pictures on the wall they call on office staring at a computer screen all day consuming precious oxygen sitting on my ass seems let a waste and in a way like legal excepted suicide! I have this ever deepening desire that I should be doing some much more with my life. Instead I'm a robot...we are robots. We take our children to school and then they go to daycare after school because we need to work, we need to work to pay the daycare. We need a car to go to work, but we need to pay for the car, gas, insurance etc....so we work. We need a home to live in, of course we hardly live in that home because where are we so we can pay for the home to which we need to live...WORK! We are all working to own the things that they are owning us! I know it's a saying that I must have heard somewhere or read online but it's true and it's scary!      

My apologies for the ramblings here but I think what I might be feeling may not be a mid-life crisis but a need to do something with this new found wealth of state of well being. Why let it go to waste? Why not put it to some good use? Do something! I only wish it was that easy we live literally paycheck to paycheck, we work all the time and that is not because my family is trying to keep up with the Jones, we are just trying to not drown. What I wouldn't give to pack the kids up to and say "Kids we are going on adventure to save (INSERT CAUSE OF YOUR CHOICE HERE)!". I can't say much for the older ones but man the 3 girls would be all for it! But here in reality I'm  terrified that we have no safety net, no retirement, that at any moment what little we have could be completely wiped out or the fact that we are most likely going to be working until one of us drops dead and even if we could wanted to save where and how do we start, because honestly we do save change around  here but I don't know how many times we have to pull it together just to buy bead or gas for the car so how the hell are we supposed to save for emergencies or yeah retirement.

Okay so my point to all this crazy talk this morning, for those that are reading this and have done the smart things in life. I admire you, I was not that smart. I have made many many mistake and repeated those mistakes but in just different and unique ways. For those who have yet to have done those mistake...you will make them, get back up and keep going and try not to repeat them.  Take care of yourself, your health is so very important and it is yours to control no one else can take it from you or control it. If you have nothing you, you have your health. I know it sounds like a line and when you're young it just kind of rolls off of you and you never really take it seriously but your time on the earth is not a guarantee and don't wait for something to happen, YOU MAKE it happen! In short I suppose what I'm saying is again and again I can't stress this enough so I will repeat, you are not the things that you own, your life is not guaranteed on this planet so before it becomes too difficult to do so choose wisely and make a difference.
There are so many things that I want to do and change in this world and I feel helpless by only the little that I can do that it seems for now my only hope is to do what I can and pass along whatever I can to my children and hope that they choose wisely and pass it on.

One Life, One Love, One World: live one minute every second at time

Busy Busy Busy making POWER MOVES!

Well the start of this week was a tad bit rough. I have been going to the gym on schedule which is good but the diet has been a wee bit hinky. Example, caramel ice cream over top fried tater totes are NOT considered health food! Oh and ah Wawa will be the death of me yet! I swear I only went to pull money out of the ATM but I just had to get coffee, ice tea, and fried cheesecake bites! I didn't even want any of it, but here I was riding down the road back to work munching on these damn cheesecake bites thinking that 4 of these suckers are 390 calories! As bit into the second cheesecake bite I all at once had an eureka moment of "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" and threw the rest of the cheesecake bites out the window (aimed for a dumpster near by but to be honest I think I missed it, in fact I'm pretty sure I did - sorry). I never did drink the coffee, but the ice tea that (which was all natural and 50 calories per severing) really hit the spot.

The rest of the week went much better. Tuesday Yoga class kicked ass, Beth really worked us good and Tuesday nights are fast becoming my favorite night of the week. I have also been trying out new smoothie recipes...

This smoothie/shake has one whole banana, 1 cup of vanilla (sweetened) Almond milk, and about a palm size (1/2 a cup of strawberries), with half an avocado. For those of you who just went eeeewww for the add in of the avocado, well it's flipping great! I for one love avocados so in truth I was hoping to be able to taste this one a bit but you really don't taste it at all. 

I made another one last night (no picture - wish I took one, was a pretty purple) almost the same recipe just without avocados, 1/4 cup a strawberries (about 3 or 4 small) and add black berries and some sort if berry yogurt (I used a store brand "Bottom Dollar" blueberry & pomegranate)...this one is my favorite so far.

I'm really trying to stay away from all starchy carbs, like breads, pastas, rice, & grains. This is going to be so hard because basically am a carbohydrate addict.  

Now Friday was a interesting productive day. Had may first Reiki session, which in short was a bit therapy session, physic/ tarot (angel messages) card reading, with some energy message stuff. I went to Seeds for the Soul in Thorndale, PA and met with Jennifer who was super nice and easy to talk to. My only problem was 2 things which were of my own doing, 1) time, we were a bit pressed - I did more talking then I thought I would and that ate a lot time. 2) lying on my back for the actually Reiki session killed the left side of my lower back. I couldn't stay comfortable so I couldn't really stay relaxed.  All in all in though it was worth the 40 bucks I senp on Groupon and I'm sure I will be going back for at least a second session or message or heck even a card reading which I found eerily on point with somethings that I have going on presently.  

Later on that day I went to see Dr. Marcus Williams at his practice (New Path at 80 W. Welsh Pool Road in Exton, PA). He is a primary doctor but specializes in weight loss, which thank good is covered by my health insurance. Great visit, great staff, & great doctor. I really felt when I left the doctors office that this is going to be it, this is finally good bye to Ms Fat Girl, the final nail in her coffin! I just need to stay away from the carbs, up the high protein, keep the cals at 1200 and light to mod. exercise along with the medication Dr. Williams prescribed, and not to mention stay in touch with Kathy my Certified Health Coach and I will be the skinny healthy self I always knew I was. 

Below I'm going to leave you with a post I made last night from my Facebook page, which pretty much sums up my feelings.

Really took care of myself today and I'm not talking the outside (hair/nails/etc.) I'm talking the inside. For the first time I am not trying to "cover up" to make myself feel better (which only last until I take it off). You can only hide under clothes, make up , etc for so long. There comes a time you have to concentrate on the inside and getting it right so your insides and your outside are all on the same side...get it. If you feel good you look good.  I've seen my future, I have to get it together to be happy and healthy for my family...and me  — feeling beautiful.


I can't tell you the last time I felt this good about myself. I can look at myself even now not at where I wanna be yet and say "Don't worry Kitten, you're gonna get there but in the mean time you looking pretty kick ass!"

Gotta love Pinterst...

I don't know about you folks but I have must recently falling in love with PINTEREST

I've collected some of my favorite "diet" and healthy living tips and ideas, here are a few and please check out the Healthier & Happier Me board on Pinterest.

                                                 WEIGHT LOSS MANTRA

                                                 

                              Crunches...Leg Raises...and Planks OH MY!!!

• Great Weight Loss / Detox Drink

To boost weight loss (and it's just yummy) - 2L water, 1 medium cucumber, 1 lemon, 10-12 mint leaves. steep overnight in fridge and drink every day. Also great for general detox--including clear skin!

• Brain Power Smoothie (Blueberry Avocado Smoothie)

Prep Time: 1 minute
Cook Time: 1 minute
Total Time: 2 minutes

Yield: About 4 cups

Ingredients

• 2 cups blueberries
• 1 cup pomegranate juice (or any berry juice)
• 1 cup ice cubes
• 1 Tbsp. chia seeds
• 1 ripe banana, peeled
• half of an avocado, peeled and pitted

Method

Add all ingredients to a blender and pulse until combined and smooth. If the smoothie is too thick, add more juice. If the smoothie is too thin, add more ice.

•  This bottom one YogaGlo is awesome! Great site, you get a free 30 day trail and then it's like $15 bucks a month. Totally worth it, the classes are really in depth and detailed and plus they have all types of yoga.

 

My 3 week Exercise Program

3 week Exercise Program

• 5 min. ~ Warm up

Core Training:

1.) Superman 12 reps 3x each

2.) Pelvic 12 reps 3x each

3.) Plank 3x each hold for as long as you can *goal is seconds

• 15 min ~ Cardio*

*I was told by my trainer that the Arch Trainer at Planet Fitness is the best cardio workout because it pretty much works everything

• Strength Training

Repetition Range: 10 / 12

Set Range: 3 / 4

Rest Period: 60 seconds 

             ~LEGS~

Leg Press (seat 2 / weight 80)

Leg Curl (seat 2 / weight 20)

Leg Extension (seat 2 /weight 20)

             ~CHEST~

Chest Press (seat 1 / weight 10)

              ~BACK~

Lat Pulldown (seat 0 / weight 55)

Seated Row (arm 3 / weight 40)

              ~ARMS~

Bicep Curl (Arm Curl) (seat 2 / weight 20)

Arm Extension (seat 2 / weight 15)

          ~SHOULDERS~

Overhead Press (seat 2 / weight 20)

Is your perceived appearance holding you back? You can be your worst enemy.

Excellent morning...

Went to workout for the very first time ("official" full workout routine) and it was, well...excellent. It's funny, I seem to have a whole new outlook. Before I would stress that people were staring at me and thinking "Wow look at that heffer try and work out!" Now understand that on a normal bases I could care less, or so I thought. I've kinda had an epiphany as it were. Thinking back every time I go shopping for clothes for example I'm conscious of what I look like, the favorite line "Does this make me look fat?" is a pretty spot on statement. See we all do it, every one. I don't care if you are as thin as a rail, slender hourglass figure, or as big as a freaking house! You are aware of what you look like and how others view you. I mean if I really didn't care I wouldn't wear makeup or again worry if an outfit doesn't look right. Appearances matter whether we like or not. And I don't care who you are you want to "fit in" it's human nature. It's what we as humans have done for centuries, we needed to fit into survive. I could go on but I will leave that for another time...but I digress, back to the workout.

What I'm getting at is for all this time I've be so worried that there is someone somewhere laughing at me. I don't know why this is, maybe it's from all the years growing up being bullied and well laughed at.  Whatever it was deep in my psyche (and at times still) was holding me back. I was stuck in this rut of, okay yeah I could probably workout at home but am I sure that I know what I'm doing? Plus I don't have the room, the money for equipment, etc...etc...etc... excuses, excuses, & more excuses.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

For the first time, in my tight workout gear (which is not forgiven at all) I went to the gym and could care less if anyone was looking and laughing (I'm pretty sure no one cared and if they were well, fuck 'em - excuse my French). When those feelings and self doubt would creep up, I would think of how kick ass I'm going to look and feel real soon. I mean if I get to where I want to be (final goal 135/140 lbs) I want to run a marathon for children's cancer research or I don't know something meaningful, I want to show my children that if you don't like something change it! Don't wait for it, go out and do it! For them to understand at times your greatest enemy is your own self doubt about yourself and what you are capable of doing.

Now I just hope I can keep it up, and take my own advice. Feeling oh so fabulous!


*Side note: If anyone is interested I will be posting my work routine that trainer Kevin from Planet Fitness came up with for me. This way I can hold myself accountable and record my progress.

Throw back...

Here is a picture of me February 2010 at 175 lbs. Still heavy but looking and feeling better than I am now.

I'm gonna get there again and then some!

Having one of those days...

                                                        BUSTED!

Having one of those days were I just want to stuff my face with everything and anything! I hate these days, I found that I eat more when my kids are home not to mention that my monthly visitor will be arriving soon. UGH I swear I only feel "normal" for around 2 weeks a month!

I need to find a way to substitute my food addiction with exercise.



*Side note: just downloaded a new app for my phone to help remind me to drink plenty of water. I don't think I have drunk even one glass, well if you don't count the tea I had this morning. The app is called Hydro, you can find it on Google Play under apps. :-)